IRS & Health Care
The government will have to hire about 70,000 new IRS agents to enforce the new provisions of the health care bill. That's 100 agents to collect the new taxes, and 69,900 of them to process the estate taxes of all the new Americans who will be dying every year.

Bloody Night
219 people committed suicide just after 10pm Sunday night... but since they were all Members of Congress nobody cares.

Depressed America
It's not clear this morning who's more upset, opponents of the health care reform bill, or people who had Kansas in their March Madness pool.



Woods Interview
Tiger Woods gave his first interview since his personal sex scandal broke last year. He said he was tired of living a lie, especially since he's not working for Congres or an insurance company.




March 22nd


1621: The Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony sign a peace treaty with Massasoit of the Wampanoags. The treaty ensures the Native Americans will leave the Pilgrims alone during all future Thanksgiving Day football games.


1933: President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signs into law a bill legalizing the sale of beer and wine. Congress hasn't really seen the need to pass another bill since.


1945: The Arab League is founded in Cairo. The first suicide bomber draft is held two days later.