Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Health Care Summit
President Obama hosts the big bipartisan health care summit in Washington this morning. At the event, leading Democrats and Republicans will outline the problems with the Amercian health care system and hope to find a way to blame them all on Toyota.

Digesting the Facts
A group of medical experts has just released a new report suggesting that most digestive problems are misunderstood. Doctors are hoping this report will convince the ACLU that lactose intolerence is not about racism.

Vermont Nukes
The Vermont state senate has voted to close the state's only nuclear power plant. Vermont residents want to explore the possibility of creating power from flannel and granola.

Sea World Death
Investigators will be at SeaWorld today working to determine what led to the death of a trainer who was pulled into the water by a killer whale. They will specifically focus on reports that the whale was fitted with a malfunctioning gas pedal from Toyota.

Hummer Dead
GM is discontinuing the Hummer brand. As a result, gas prices are expected to drop to about 45 cents a gallon.

February 25th

1912: Marie-Adélaïde, the eldest of six daughters of Guillaume IV, becomes the first reigning Grand Duchess of Luxembourg. That and 5 cents got her a ride on the subway.

1951: The first Pan American Games are held in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Coincidentally, the first illegal steroids go on the market the very same day.

1956: Nikita Khrushchev denounces Joseph Stalin... a realy gutsy move since Stalin had been dead for 3 years.


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