Japan #1 Lender
Japan has replaced Toyota as the number one buyer of U.S. bonds. It's all part of a deal: they buy our bad debt and we'll keep buying their bad Toyotas.



Obama Loves Stimulus
President Obama says the Stimulus Plan has saved or created 2.5 million jobs. That's 500,000 road repair jobs and 2 million jobs for people hired to tell everyone the Stimulus is working.



Pets Rights
The city of West Hollywood has just banned selling dogs and cats at pet stores. And turtles, hamsters and gold fish have just won the right for an honorable, "no-flush" burial.



Iran Nukes
Iran has announced its putting more powerful centerfuges into its nascent nuclear reactors. The Obama administration is responding with its own lethal weapons program by secretly boosting the temperature on McDonald's coffee by 15 degrees.



Docs Donations
Medical specialists and surgeons boosted their political giving in 2009. 1% of the money went to Scott Brown and the other 99% went to all the over 80-year-old Senators who make up most of their business.





February 17th


1600: The philosopher Giordano Bruno is burned alive at Campo de' Fiori in Rome for heresy and for making his hardest book at requirement for the midterm.


1933: The Blaine Act ends 13 years of Prohibition in the United States. Congress celebrates by getting drunker than it was for the previous 13 years.


1958: Pope Pius XII declares Saint Clare of Assisi the patron saint of television. Saint Clare is thus also the patron saint of the overweight people with attention deficit disorder.


1995: Colin Ferguson is convicted of six counts of murder for the December 1993 Long Island Rail Road shootings and later receives a 200+ year sentence... which he has been serving waiting on the platform for the 8:06am train to Mineola ever since.