Corzine Loses
New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine lost his bid for re-election. Now if he wants to continue ripping off the taxpayers, he'll have to go back to work at Goldman Sachs.



GOP Sweep
Republicans are celebrating their key victories in yesterday's off-year elections. Experts say the biggest reason conservatives were able to win is because none of the judges asked them about gay marriage during the swimsuit competition.



Buffet's Bet
Warren Buffett is calling his decision to buy the Burlington Northern Railroad an "all-in bet on the USA." That's because if the economy improves, the company stock will rise... and if it continues like this, most Americans will be stowing away on empty railroad cars.



Maine Spikes Gay Marriage
Voters in Maine repealed a state law that would have allowed gay marriage. It's not that Maine hates homosexuals, it's just that it's tired of being mistaken for Vermont.



Philly Strike, Day Two
Philadelphia transit workers continue to be on strike, grinding all city buses and trains to a halt for a second day. This would be a problem if anyone in Philadelphia actually had a job.






November 4th


1783: W.A. Mozart's Symphony No. 36 premières in Linz, Austria. It is illegally downloaded on iHarpsichords within 15 minutes.


1922: In Egypt, British archaeologist Howard Carter and his men find the entrance to King Tut's tomb... becoming the last people on Earth to see the artifacts without first having to wait in an unending line at the museum gift shop.


1924: Nellie Tayloe Ross of Wyoming is elected as the first female governor in the United States. She narrowly defeats a cow and scarecrow.


2002: Chinese authorities arrest cyber-dissident He Depu for signing a pro-democracy letter to the 16th Communist Party Congress... and refusing to finish making his quota of Dora the Explorer toy kitchens.