Anti-Pregnancy Program
An organization run by the University of North Carolina is paying high school girls in that state not to get pregnant. But they could get the same results and save money if they would just keep those girls away from the football team.



Obama Sees Coffins
Last night, President Obama witnessed the return of the remains of 18 U.S. servicemen killed in Afghanistan. He also met with the families of the killed soldiers, offered his condolences, and blamed President Bush.



Mayor Busted
A federal jury has convicted Birmingham, Alabama Mayor Larry Langford of accepting bribes in exchange for funneling $7.1 million in bond business to a prominent investment banker. Great, he's the ONE politician in America who's actually doing something for local business and he's going to jail!



Radical Muslim Leader Killed
FBI agents shot and killed an Muslim man yesterday who wanted to set up a radical, violent Islamic separatist state in the Detroit area. Great... the ONE guy who actually still wants to build something in Detroit, and he gets shot to death.


Radical Muslim Leader Killed II
FBI agents shot and killed an Muslim man yesterday who wanted to set up a radical, violent Islamic separatist state in the Detroit area. The killing was such a waste, since Detroit has already been a radical, violent Islamic separatist state since 1997.



Staples Center Robbery
Los Angeles police are looking for a thief who stole thousands of dollars at Staples Center... this is in addition to the the millions of dollars everyone on the Clippers has basically stolen from everyone who bought season tickets.





October 29th

1422: Charles the 7th of France becomes king in succession to his father Charles the 6th of France... Charles the 6th-and-a-half of France protests.


1863: Twenty seven countries meeting in Geneva agree to form the International Red Cross. Coffee, donuts and blankets are distrubuted to all the delegates.

2008: Delta Air Lines merges with Northwest Airlines, creating the world's largest airline and destroyer of peoples' time and luggage.