Big Screen Vote
The California state legislature will vote today on whether to ban energy-draining big screen TV's. But voters just want to ban the TV's that show "The View."




Health Care vs. Jobs
As Congress continues to debate health care reform, most Americans just want the government to do something about unemployment. Luckily, Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Reid's jobs should be available in about 11 months.




China Assessment
The White House says President Obama's trip to China was a success... mostly because at no time during the visit did the Chinese try to repossess his car.



Newspaper Raid
Police raided the circulation offices of the New York Times yesterday. They were looking into wild accusations that the Times may actually still have some paying subscribers.



Cage's Woes
Actor Nicolas Cage is still in financial trouble, as he is scrounging for the cash to pay his tax bills, mortgage expenses, and everyone in America who suffered through Captain Corelli's Mandolin.





November 18th


1210: Pope Innocent III excommunicates Holy Roman Emperor Otto IV. Otto IV responds by "unfriending" him on the Holy Roman Facebook.


1493: Christopher Columbus first sights what is now Puerto Rico. But he is unable to land there because the Puerto Rican Day Parade really screwed up all the traffic on the Island.


1904: General Esteban Huertas steps down after the government of Panama fears he wants to stage a coup... when in reality he just wanted to stage a revival of HMS Pinafore.


1905: Prince Carl of Denmark becomes King Haakon VII of Norway. A week later, he tries cross dressing and becomes the Queen of France.