Obama Peace Prize
President Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize. In a related story, Jets rookie QB Mark Sanchez has been elected to the NFL Hall of Fame.


The White House is preparing a formal response to the Nobel Peace Prize announcement. Right now, the administration is decidind between, "Huh?" and "Say What?!?"



Crash Test
Two U.S. spacecraft are set to crash on the moon Friday, as scientists hope to find evidence of water on lunar surface. It's amazing what those people at NASA will do just to avoid changing the Brita filter.



School Lunch Debts
Several states across the country are reporting more cases of students not paying for their school lunches. It's getting so bad that many principals are hiring some of the bullies from the 5th grade to help them collect.



Hate Crime Bill
The House of Representatives has voted to expand the legal definition of hate crimes. Now you can get longer prison terms for attacking gays, immigrants, or members of Congress who use your tax money for Botox treatments.



San Diego Sick Kids
California health officials are investigating a mysterious outbreak of flu-like illness at a San Diego school where more than 100 children went to the school nurse. They're not sure if it was caused by the swine flu or something more sinister, like a surprise spelling test.






October 9th


768: Carloman I and Charlemagne are crowned Kings of The Franks... because having two leaders with the same job always really works out.


1003: Leif Erikson becomes the first known European to reach North America... thus he becomes the first person to be called a racist.


1701: Yale University is chartered in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. But classes do not begin for decades because no applicants are considered blue-blooded enough to actually enroll in the school until 1725.


1995: An Amtrak Sunset Limited train is derailed by saboteurs near Palo Verde, Arizona. The saboteurs are also known as the House Transportation Committee.