Public Option Returns?
The White House is once again pushing for the public option for health care insurance. The Obama team was encouraged to try again when it learned no one from the Olympic selection panel was on the Senate Finance Committee.



Swine Flu Vaccinations
Vaccinations for the H1N1 Swine Flu virus begin in America today. Priority will be given the infants, the elderly, and CBS staffers who were forced to make out with David Letterman.



Tax Deal
Several cash-strapped states are offering rich residents with illegal offshore accounts a special deal: they can either pay their back taxes or help their governors find a good place to hide the accounts they use to pay hookers.


Tax Deal II
Several cash-strapped states are offering rich residents with illegal offshore accounts a special deal: they can either pay their back taxes or agree to send their teenage daughters to work for David Letterman.



Bank of America CEO Search
Bank of America's board meets this week to pick a new CEO. This time, the bank is expected to make the radical step of hiring someone who might actually try not to lose money.



Somali Complaint
The president of Somalia is denouncing the recruiting of young men from Minnesota's Somali community for terrorist activity. He says they make lousy terrorists because they're all too obsessed with Brett Favre.



Nobel Prizes
The 2009 Nobel Prize for Medicine was announced today... and once again, the Nobel committe has snubbed the dude who figured out Flintstones vitamins make your pee glow in the dark.







October 5th


1857: The City of Anaheim is founded. It is later re-named "The City of Anaheim of Los Angeles."


1947: The first televised White House address is given by President Harry Truman. It is sponsored by Camel Cigarettes


1984: Marc Garneau becomes the first Canadian in space, also forcing the first DUI checkpoint in space.