Bush's Concerns
As he arrives in China for he Olympics, President Bush says he plans to express "deep concerns" about that country's human rights abuses. He's especially upset about the infamous Chinese finger traps he keeps hearing about.



LeBron to Europe?
LeBron James says he would be willing to play in Europe for $50 million per year. Of course $50 million in Europe will get you one night in a hotel and crepe.



Citi Negotiations
Citigroup is in negotiations with the government to resolve allegations of wrongdoing in the mortgage market. The bank is expected to blame it all on a rogue ATM in Queens.



AOl Split
TimeWarner has announced it will split AOL into two businesses; one will be called "Shit" and the other will be called "Crap."



Gun Control Spy?
A gun-control activist who championed the cause for more than a decade is suspected of working as a paid spy for the National Rifle Association. The anti-gun associations began to suspect the man after he started showing up to meetings shirtless.