Batman Boffo
The Dark Knight is still #1 at the box office and is close to earning $400 million. It's not clear what audiences like best, the action on the screen, or the fact that it's the first Hollywood movie in three years that doesn't lecture them about the environment.



AOL Splitoff
TimeWarner is reportedly close to separating AOL's dial-up Internet-access division, from its businesses that don't induce mocking laughter, sadness and nausea.


AOL Splitoff II
TimeWarner says it has finished an accounting exercise that will help analysts assign a dollar value to AOL. In a related story, we now understand the concept of "absolute zero."



Pelosi Blocks Vote
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has flat out refused to call a special session of Congress to vote on off-shore oil drilling. Having to come back to Washington would cut into her annual Congressional recess plastic surgery recovery time.



Olympic Sponsors
Dozens of American businesses, including McDonald's and Coca-Cola, made huge sponsorship deals for the Beijing Olympics. These deals will not only provide funding for the games, but also give anti-Chinese protesters several convient places to demonstrate against the Olympics right here at home.



Edouard Threat
Tropical Storm Edouard could damage some oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico, but it could be diverted by wind shifts, water temperatures, and a threatened windfall profits tax from Barack Obama.