Judicial Pay
Chief Justice John Roberts says pay for federal judges is so inadequate that it threatens to undermine the judiciary's independence. Yeah, if this keeps up, some judges might start favoring big corporations and insurance companies over ordinary Americans... oh wait, that started in 1902.




Oprah's School
Talk show star Oprah Winfrey will open her long-awaited school for girls in South Africa Tuesday. Any girl who could sit through all of "Beloved" was accepted.

Oprah's School II
Talk show star Oprah Winfrey will open her long-awaited school for girls in South Africa Tuesday. Meanwhile, Jerry Springer is opening a competing school for boys in a trailer park in Tennessee.



Spitzer Promise
During his inaugural address in Albany Monday, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer promised "to prosecute every political criminal in the state without exception." By the time he finished his remarks, most of the attendees had safely escaped to Canada.