Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Ford Funeral
President Bush, Henry Kissinger, and several other famous speakers eulogized former President Gerald Ford at the National Cathedral. Each spoke of Ford's legacy, decency, and how it's a good thing he died before seeing Michigan get its butt kicked in the Rose Bowl Monday night.

Face Transplant Wait
Doctors at the Cleveland Clinic are still looking to perform the first-ever full face transplant. Experts say the perfect candidate for the operation would be a burn victim, and accident victim, or Star Jones.

Rudy's Goals
A leaked document shows that former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani wants to raise $100 million for his presidential campaign in 2007. When he was Mayor, he would just shake down all the cabbies and hot dog vendors and get that money inside of three months.

Top 5 Classes at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls

5) "History of the Talk Show 101"

4) "Modern Philosophical Questions, aka: Why Won't Stedman Propose Already?!?"

3) "Dr. Phil's self esteem/weight loss/dating Seminar"

2) "Honors Math, aka: Structure Oprah's Next Tax Shelter"

1) "Finding Your Spirit on 3 Cents a Day"

Execution Video Probe
Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki has ordered an immediate probe to find who taunted and videotaped Saddam Hussein at his hanging this weekend.... because he wants to let them know they've just won $100,000 on Iraq's Funniest Home Videos!


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