SUNDAY RADIO ALERT!! You can catch me LIVE on the internet radio station WBCQ tonight and every Sunday night at 9pm! The name of the show is "The Johnny Lightning Show" Here is the link to find out how to download the show: WBCQ Radio

HUMOR BLOGGING THE WAR IN ISRAEL, SUNDAY JULY 23RD

Top 5 Accceptable Israeli "Proportional Responses" to Hezbollah Terror

5) Arrange for a bunch of Israeli mothers to celebrate when their sons blow themselves up

4) Find junked car, set it on fire for BBC cameras, riot... repeat

3) Force people of Lebanon to watch 17-hour "Facts of Life" marathon

2) Start burning everything in sight after someone publishes an insulting cartoon

1) Move everyone to New Jersey

Ariel Sharon has taken a turn for the worse. But despite being almost completely brain dead, 75% of all Israelis still think Sharon could do a better job as Prime Minister than Ehud Olmert.

Despite massing several thousand troops at the Lebanese border, Israel has repeatedly stressed that it has no plans to take any permanent land in southern Lebanon... at least not until the Fed stops raising interest rates.

Israel is still stopping the United Nations from sending relief supplies into southern Lebanon. It's one thing to bomb the Lebanese, but subjecting them to U.N. aid workers is really going too far.

The good news for the people of Beirut is the Israeli military will now distribute relief supplies to all refugees. The bad news is anyone seen taking those supplies will be killed by Hezbollah.

The United States has offered a special refuge for the estimated 150,000 people displaced by the fighting in Lebanon. It'll get a little crowded, but the Super Dome staff says it's ready.

AND IN OTHER NEWS...

Kim Jong Il's New Wife?
The North Korean government will not confirm whether 42-year-old Kim Ok is North Korean leader Kim Jong Il's new wife. All the government will say is that Ok is in charge of the leader's "other" sensitive missile program.

Top Movie
"Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" is #1 at the box office, with a total gross of $321 million so far. You might expect this movie to have been copied and put on the Internet by now, but the world's leading movie pirates are giving it "professional courtesy."