HUMOR BLOGGING THE WAR IN ISRAEL, THURSDAY JULY 20TH

Top 5 Reasons You Joined Hezbollah

5) Wearing a turban all the time means no more bad hair days!

4) You were always the best at Atari's "Missile Command"

3) It's always good to have a few friends who can help you murder your sister in an honor killing

2) It's the only way you'll ever get on al Jazeera

1) You got wait-listed at al Qaeda

Experts say it's only a matter of time before world opinion turns against Israel. By "matter of time," they mean it's been the case since 1887.

Hezbollah says despite Israel's 9-day campaign in Lebanon, none of its leaders has been harmed... that's because they're all in Iran.

Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah says Israel's claims of eliminating half of Hezbollah's fighting capacity is untrue. He made that claim on Hezbollah TV's hit show, "Terrorist Requests Live."

AND IN OTHER NEWS...

Neanderthal Project
Researchers in Germany are beginning the long process of reconstructing the genome of Neanderthals. Of course, they could avoid all that work and just bring in a few hockey fans.

Bush & the Right
First, the Evangelicals forced President Bush to push for a gay marriage ban. Next, the conservatives got him to veto stem cell research. Now, the Creationists are getting him to remove all Dino vitamins from every bottle of Flintstones.