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Macaulay's World
In an interview in Time Magazine, actor Macaulay Culkin says he is struggling to find work now that he is an adult. He also says that his friend Michael Jackson barely talks to him anymore, now that he is an adult.

Wal-Mart Morning After
Wal-Mart said it will reverse its earlier policy and stock emergency contraception pills in all of its pharmacies. This after it found it was unable to make much of a profit on the unwanted babies that usually fill most of its stores.

Abortion Notification
A new report shows laws requiring minors to get parental permission before
getting an abortion don't produce drops in teenage abortion rates after all. That's because no one wants to be a grandparent and have a teenage kid at the same time!

Helpful Babies
A new study shows babies as young as 18 months old can tell when adults need assistance and will often do their best to help... unless they are Republicans and the adults around them are hurricane victims.

Ma Bell Returns?
Experts are calling AT&T's decision to buy BellSouth the "return of Ma Bell" and a "mother and child reunion." But that metaphor only works if you're talking about a mother who's a trillion dollars in debt and addicted to cell phone crack.

South Dakota Abortions
South Dakota has just banned all abortions. Great, like it wasn't hard enough to get laid in that state already!

South Dakota Abortions
South Dakota has just banned all abortions. The law makes no exceptions in cases of rape, incest or when a drunken ranch hand impregnates a cow.

Campus Recruitment
The Supreme Court ruled Monday that universities that get federal aid must allow military recruiters on campus, even if they oppose Pentagon policies. The court also ruled the military must continue to take smart-ass college kids who are only interested in joining because they've got 100 grand in tuition debt.

Campus Recruitment II
The Supreme Court ruled Monday that universities that get federal aid must allow military recruiters on campus, even if they oppose Pentagon policies. The decision is a huge victory for the military, and every single campus protest leader who wouldn't have anything to do if it weren't for the military showing up on campus.

Campus Recruitment III
The Supreme Court ruled Monday that universities that get federal aid must allow military recruiters on campus, even if they oppose Pentagon policies. To make up for the loss of funds, ultra-liberal American colleges are now going to have to charge an outrageous $40,000 in annual tuition... oh wait, they do that already!

Gay Rabbis
The Conservative branch of Judaism is considering ending its ban on gay Rabbis. Wait; there are Conservative Rabbis who aren't gay?