JAKIE GOES HOLLYWOOD ALERT!!!

The ad campaign for "THANK YOU FOR SMOKING" is now in day SEVEN! Check out the brand new joke by clicking here: NYTimes.com

Everyone please do me a BIG favor and CLICK ON THE ADS for the movie! This will make it clear that the jokes and the ads caught your eye!

THANKS

Lonely Mice
A new study suggests that female mice deal with loneliness better than their male counterparts. The data shows that lonely female mice keep focusing on getting food and shelter, while lonely male mice spend all their time looking at Internet porn.

Bolton Blast
U.S. ambassador to the U.N. John Bolton says the United Nations is hobbled "by bad
management, sex and corruption." Wait, was he talking about the U.N. or Hollywood?

Martha on The Donald
Martha Stewart says Donald Trump is "juvenile, evil, unethical and immoral"... so why did they have so much trouble working together?

German Help
The good news is a new report says the German government actually helped the U.S. plan the invasion of Iraq. The bad news is the same report says the French helped us plan the occupation.

Convention Congestion
People had to be turned away from New York City's first big comic book convention in a decade, when more than 20,000 people flooded the Javits Center. 1,000 were there to see the comic books; the other 19,000 were there to beat up the nerds.

Michael Arrested
After being found by London police slumped at the wheel of a car filled with drugs, singer George Michael said the arrest was his "own stupid fault." That's also his excuse for his last 3 albums.

Top 5 Changes now that the Teachers Union is Joining the AFL-CIO

5) More union goons now have correctly-spelled tattoos

4) Friendly student body presidential candidates now getting free lunches and extra locker space

3) Your weekly school pep rallies now get about 20,000 people

2) Disruptive students now getting the "Jimmy Hoffa treatment"

1) Recess is now 2 1/2 hours a day