Hamas Chief in Iran
Hamas leader Khaled Meshal is in Tehran this week calling on Iran to take a bigger role in Palestinian affairs. The first thing he's asking the Iranians to do is give Palestinians a warning when they try to nuke Tel Aviv.

Bush on Ports
Despite growing Republican opposition, President Bush says he'll veto any bill that blocks an Arab company from taking over several ports in the eastern U.S. The White House says it's not that the Republican lawmakers don't have a point, it's just that they all promised not to think for themselves until President Bush leaves office.

Summers Quits
Embattled Harvard University president Larry Summers has announced he will step down in May. Summers was forced out for being the one university president in America who wanted to do something other than just fundraising.

Summers Quits II
Embattled Harvard University president Larry Summers has announced he will step down in May. Summers will now look for a job where at least some of his co-workers aren't pompous asses.

Top 5 Real Reasons Larry Summers Quit as Harvard President

5) Couldn't stop laughing every time some idiot parents forked over $40k in tuition

4) Tired of being the butt of all those MIT pranks

3) All the hot chicks are at USC

2) Just once he'd like to see a real college basketball team play!

1) Wants to get out of Harvard before the Bush administration has it bombed

Cruise to Sue?
Tom Cruise says he may sue tabloids that are reporting that he and Katie Holmes are breaking up. Holmes would probably say the same thing... if she were allowed to speak.

$365 Million Wish List
A majority of Americans say that if they won the $365 million lottery, the first thing they would do is pay for their kids' college educations. I hate to break it to them, but $365 million may not cover it.

Toilet Paper Death
A Florida man has been arrested for allegedly beating his roommate to death because there was no toilet paper in their home. This case just astounds me, I mean you'd think the victim could have gotten away from a guy with his pants still down around his ankles.

Talent Shortage?
A new poll shows that businesses in New York are having trouble finding decent workers. But that poll is misleading because the only employers surveyed were the guys who own the Knicks and the Jets.