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Domino Town
Domino's Pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan is building a new town in Florida where he hopes to enforce his religious beliefs. The area will have no place to get an abortion, birth control, or a nutritious meal.

Domino Town II
Domino's Pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan is building a new town in Florida based on his Catholic beliefs. Families are being wooed to the town with promises of excellent schools, clean businesses, and the fact that for every medium-sized house they buy, they'll get one of equal or lesser value absolutely free.

Lohan Miscue
While appearing at a L.A. fashion show, Lindsay Lohan's breast slipped out of her dress. Well, that's what everyone was there to see anyway.

Port Poll
66% of Americans say they're opposed to a company from Dubai buying control of U.S. ports. And 100% of Americans have no idea where or what Dubai is.

Israeli Thumbs Up
An Israeli shipping company is actually supporting Dubai's bid to buy U.S. ports, saying it does business with the Arab country all the time. So now the deal is saved, but everyone in Dubai's government is about to get killed.

India Nukes
President Bush admits it will be difficult to persuade Congress to support his plan to share U.S. nuclear know-how and fuel with India... that's because Congress is currently too busy collecting bribes from Dubai.

Pakistan Attack
Despite a suicide car bomber attacking in Pakistan, President Bush says "terrorists and killers" would not alter his plans to visit the country. Yeah, the only people who can alter his plans are lobbyists and corporate executives.

Clinton vs. Clinton
Bill Clinton has privately advised Dubai officials on how to address concerns over their controversial ports deal, despite his wife, Senator Hillary Clinton, publicly attacking the deal. Of course, this is the very, very first time Bill has done something without Hillary knowing about it.