Ohio Ruling
Two federal judges in Ohio are barring Republican campaign workers from showing up to challenge and harass voters at polling places. Not because of any constitutional issues, it's just that the TV crews and the exit pollsters already called "first dibs" on challenging and harassing the voters.

Osama Tape
In his latest taped message, Osama bin Laden insisted that the fate of America was not in the hands of either President Bush or John Kerry. So, even he knows this election is getting decided in the courts!

Arafat Incoherent
After meeting with his wife, Suha, witnesses say Yasser Arafat still seemed confused and incoherent. But experts say Arafat always acts that way when he's around someone he really doesn't know.

Music Poll
A new poll shows that people who like country music songs favor President Bush over John Kerry by 61% to 39%. But people whose lives sound like country music songs favor John Kerry by 75% to 25%.

Wal-Mart Poll
A new poll shows that people who live near a Wal-Mart favor President Bush 55% to 45%. But people who work at Wal-Mart favor John Kerry by 80% to 20%.

Starbucks Poll
A new poll shows that people who live near a Starbucks coffee shop favor John Kerry by 54% to 46%. But people who think paying $8 for a cup of Starbucks coffee is okay favor President Bush 65% to 35%.