Rehnquist Future
Now that he's ill, the Presidential election will definitely affect Chief Justice William Rehnquist's future plans. If Bush wins, he'll retire right away, but if Kerry wins, he'll just stay on the court long enough to overturn the election.

Election Uncertainty
A new poll shows that 60% of Americans are "very upset" because they believe neither Bush nor Kerry will be the clear winner on election day The other 40% are even more upset because they believe either Bush or Kerry will be the clear winner on election day.

Arafat Rejects Offer
Yasser Arafat is refusing Israel's offer to allow him to leave his West Bank compound for medical treatment because he believes it could be a trick and Israel may not allow him to return. Palestinian officials say Arafat became suspicious of the offer since it came right after the Israelis notified him that he had won two tickets to Game 1 of the World Series at Fenway Park and he just needed to report to Israeli military headquarters to pick them up.

Clinton's Back
Bill Clinton says he's out campaigning for John Kerry right after his quadruple bypass surgery because, "If this isn't good for my heart, I don't know what is." Actually, Clinton does know something else that's good for his heart, but if Hillary finds out he's doing it, she'll perform his next surgery herself.

Simpson Response
Responding to her embarrassing lip-syncing gaffe on Saturday Night Live, Ashlee Simpson is telling Americans, "to get your jabs in while you can, because there's too many important people behind my career to stop it now." Funny, that's what the Bush campaign has been saying all year too!

Allawi Blames U.S.
Interim Iraqi Prime Minister Ayad Allawi is blaming U.S. negligence for the ambush that killed 50 American-trained Iraqi soldiers this weekend. The Pentagon admits that Allawi's public complaints are the result of grave negligence -- but they promise to remember to send him his check on-time next month.

Bush Attacks
President Bush has said John Kerry's comments about the war in Iraq are killing troop morale. But the President is stopping that line of criticism, because as it turns out, what he's doing in Iraq is just killing the troops.