American Hostage Escapes
Thomas Hamill was able to escape his Iraqi captors this weekend thanks to his quick thinking, willingness to sacrifice, and the knowledge that if he missed one more day of work, Halliburton would outsource his job to India.

American Hostage Escapes II
Experts believe the Mississippi native Hamill was able to get his kidnappers to take pity on him by proving they had a lot in common... for example, they were all forced to marry their cousins.

No Panda Mating
The National Zoo says its efforts to mate a 5-year old female panda and a 6-year old male panda have failed again this year. Experts say that if the Zoo really wants to find out how to sexually entice a 6-year old male, it will just have to call in Michael Jackson.