Madonna's Children's Book
The first volume in Madonna's five-book series for kids is due out next week. Here are the book titles:

The Very Horny Caterpillar

Goldie Locks and Her Three Male Bi-Sexual Dancers

Where the Wild Things Are... in My Bedroom

The Grinch Who Pans All My Movies

Ex-Mouseketeers are Easy


Airline Stowaway
A clerk had himself shipped from New York to Dallas in an airline cargo crate this week. The man had to do without food or water for 15-hours... but still had more leg room than the folks in coach.


Barbie Banned
Saudi Arabia's religious police have banned Barbie dolls, saying their revealing clothes are offensive to Islam and will corrupt its girls. But the country's leading terrorists are protesting the decision, because they say the doll is an excellent tool for young Arab boys as they learn how to behead and rip the limbs off of Westerners.