Tuition Hikes
Returning college students are likely to feel the pinch this year as America's public and private universities are raising tuition by as much as 39%. Top ways for students to save and make more money this semester:

-Collect whatever rewards are available for ratting out all your anti-American professors to the Feds

-Buckle down, study, and do whatever else is necessary to find the few illegal free music downloading web sites that haven't been shut down yet

-Borrow a video camera, take it to every campus bar, and sell all the footage to the guys from "Girls Gone Wild"

-Go on more shoplifting outings with the football team

-Could cut down on the beer and partying and get a part-time job... well, let's not do anything drastic

-Take out some student loans and get yourself about 200 Grand in debt before you're 21... oh wait, you're doing that already

-Just drop out and take a job at McDonald's... in this economy, that's where all the guys who finished college are working anyway


Disney Investment
Disney board member Roy P. Disney is buying a cremation and incineration firm for $11.5 million. Of course, Disney knows first hand that the number of people burning copies of "Treasure Planet" and "The Emperor's New Groove" ought to keep the profits soaring at that company for years.