Friday, August 22, 2003

Ten Commandments Compromise
Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore is still refusing to remove the Ten Commandments monument from the courthouse rotunda. But he is offering the following compromise solutions to the federal government:

-Willing to cross out the "no adultery" Commandment... at least until the summer interns go back to school

-Willing to provide "equal time" by putting a Golden Calf idol in the rotunda too

-Will remind the government that you have to be able to READ the Commandments for there to be any problem, and we are talking about ALABAMA... get the picture?

-Willing to replace the monument with Charlton Heston babbling his lines from "The 10 Commandments" movie until he figures out where the Hell he is

-Willing to move the monument to the one place in the state where it's needed the most: the football team locker room at the University of Alabama.

College Ratings
U.S. News & World Report's annual ranking of America's best colleges is on newsstands now, but critics say colleges gear too many of their efforts toward getting higher rankings. Those efforts include using tougher admissions standards, changing course offerings, and making sure the football team is on the road when the magazine's inspectors show up on campus.


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