Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Ben's Testimony
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke will explain his so-called "exit strategy" from low interest rates to Congress today. Most of that strategy involves Bernanke moving to Brazil.

Stimulus "Impact"
A new report says the $862 billion stimulus plan kept the unemployment rate at 10.2% and saved us from an 11% rate... and for another $100 billion, we could have had fries with that.

L.A. Union Schools
The L.A. school board has voted to turn over 22 schools to the teachers union. Students in those schools will learn how sleep at their desks and maximize their sick days.

Sea Level Oops!
Scientists have been forced to withdraw a study that predicted a massive worldwide sea level rise due to global warming. It's turns out the solar-powered calculator they were using didn't work.

Phony Hassids
Two New York jewelers were busted for hiring gunmen to dress as Hasidic Jews in an alleged insurance scam. The whole plot fell apart when the "Hasidim" asked for diamonds, cash, and two Baconators for lunch.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/#ixzz0gSlKXmZd

February 24th

1868: Andrew Johnson becomes the first President of the United States to be impeached... and he didn't even get sex with an intern out of it.

1970: National Public Radio is founded by a consortium of Communists, feminists, and Palestinian terrorists.

1989: The Ayatollah Khomeini offers a $3 million bounty for the death of Satanic Verses author Salman Rushdie. Incidentally, $3 million is what Rushdie currently pays to keep his divorce lawyers on retainer.


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