Monday, December 27, 2004

Tsunami Relief
The world is rushing to help the victims of the Asian Tsunamis. The United States is sending food supplies, Switzerland is sending cash, and France is offering advice on how to blame this all on the Jews.

Tsunami Reaction
President Bush says he's angry and frustrated by the disaster... but mostly because he can't pronounce "Tsunami" and wants to just call it a "Tidal Wave."

Yushchenko Leads
Opposition leader Viktor Yushchenko holds a commanding lead in the new Ukrainian presidential elections. His triumph proves that cheaters can never win... unless they convince key states in their countries to use electronic voting machines.

McDonald's Hacked
A Chinese man hacked the McDonald's web site this weekend to protest the fast food chain's listing of Taiwan as a separate country. Meanwhile, an American computer hacker did the same thing to protest the fact that going to McDonald's has forced him to list his ass as a separate country.

Top 5 Reasons Cuba is Breaking Tourism Records

5) Best place to go to avoid all the modern gadgets and hassles of life; like toilet paper and showering

4) Beats Canada as a place to hide out from the impending draft

3) They make the whole population show up for annoying parades every day at noon... just like Disney World!

2) Seductive new slogan: "Come for the sun, stay for the affordable prescription drugs!"

1) Combines great cigars with corrupt political leadership; in America we called that "The Clinton Administration"

Bush Immigration
President Bush faces a tough job in trying to convince his divided fellow Republicans to relax certain immigration restrictions. Half of the GOP actually wants tougher border controls, and the other half just wants to keep the gay people out.


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