Monday, September 27, 2010

IRS Cuts Costs
The IRS is no longer going to send out tax forms in the mail. Mostly because no one in America is making any money anyway.

9/11 Slur
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad now says the 9/11 attacks were an inside job. The good news is that Mayor Bloomberg now realizes that with guys like Ahmadinejad around to insult the 9/11 victims, who needs a Ground Zero mosque?

Fired Auto Workers
13 of those Chrysler workers who were caught by TV news crews smoking pot and boozing on the job were fired yesterday afternoon. Luckily it's an election year, so the UAW will soon be hire them to beat up people at the polls.

NYC Teacher Tenure
New York City is making it harder for public school teachers to get tenure... meaning the only real reason to continue teaching in the city is dating your 14-year-old students.

Obama Interview
Rolling Stone Magazine is getting an exclusive interview with President Obama. From now on, the White House will only grant interviews to publications that cater to the stoned.

September 28th

935: Saint Wenceslas is murdered by his brother, Boleslaus I of Bohemia... who always preferred to sing about Frosty the Snowman at Christmastime.

1928: Sir Alexander Fleming discovers penicillin... making him the patron saint of hookers.

1971: The British Parliament bans the medicinal use of cannabis, and in so doing ruins the Rolling Stones, the Who, and 16 other British rock bands.


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