Saturday, September 18, 2010

Teamsters and Pot Growers
The Teamsters are now organizing California’s medical marijuana growers. Because driving a truck and getting stoned are perfect together.

Medicare Fraud Crackdown
The federal government can no longer afford any more Medicare fraud. Now all elderly patients in doctors offices will be required to give a blood sample, a urine sample, and a set of fingerprints.

Walmart Solar
Walmart is officially announcing that it will use solar power at hundreds of its stores within three years. Hollywood is responding by officially announcing that going green is no longer cool.

Vikings Lose
The Minnesota Vikings are now 0-2 on the season. They lost yesterday after Brett Favre retired and unretired 16 times in the second half.

Woody Likes the GZM
Woody Allen says he supports building the Ground Zero Mosque... mostly because he heard mosques are a great place to arrange marriages to 14-year-old girls.

September 20th

1519: Ferdinand Magellan sets sail from with about 270 men on his expedition to circumnavigate the globe…. But with 270 men on board, the trip just ends at Fire Island.

1633: Galileo Galilei is tried before the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith for teaching that the Earth orbits the Sun, and assigning astronomy homework on a holiday weekend.

1962: James Meredith, an African-American, is temporarily barred from entering the University of Mississippi… as are all other Mississippians who insist on wearing shoes.


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