Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Unions for Pot
The massive SEIU union is now backing the push to legalize marijuana in California. The union wants to make sure its workers have something to do on their breaks when they run out of coffee.

Caffeine Defense
A Kentucky man who strangled his wife says he killed her because he became crazed after drinking too much coffee... that's opposed to most other people in America who become homicidal when they DON'T have their coffee.

Hurd Case Settled
Oracle and HP have settled their dispute over Oracle's decision to hire Mark Hurd. HP has agreed to drop its lawsuit against against Hurd, and Hurd has agreed to teach the rest of the HP board how to pick up chicks.

Stimulus Blockade
A new report shows that Detroit couldn't create many jobs with federal stimulus money because of the city's many enviromental laws. Wait, Detroit has an environment?

Broncos WR Dies
The NFL is mourning the passing of Denver Broncos wide receiver Kenny McKinley. League officials promise to investigate the death, just as soon as everyone gets a chance to adjust their fantasy team rosters.

September 21st

1780: Benedict Arnold gives the British the plans to West Point. Arnold decides to betray America after seeing several anti-war plays starring Jane Fonda’s great-great-grandmother.

1937: J. R. R. Tolkien's The Hobbit is published… helping to identify geeks well before Star Trek made it really easy.

2003: The Galileo mission is terminated by sending the probe into Jupiter's atmosphere, where it is crushed by lower altitudes and increased peer pressure from all the cooler satellites.


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