California Green Law
California is about to require all state agencies to get at least 33% of their power from renewable energy by 2020. This means the LAPD is going to need at least 10 wind-powered patrol cars to chase Lindsay Lohan alone.



Obama UN
President Obama addresses the UN General Assembly today... the White House is calling it a stimulus for the New York traffic cops.



Caught on Tape
Several UAW workers at Chrysler have been caught on video smoking pot and drinking during a work break. That makes them only half as stoned as the government officials who decided to bailout Chrysler.



Walmart Cries Foul
Walmart says it's not the unions and the environmentalists who are bankrolling the lawsuits against the discount chain. That makes sense, the people funding the anti-Walmart campaign are probably just people with taste.



Blockbusted
Blockbuster is filing for Bankruptcy... just as soon as it finishes rewinding all its VHS tapes.



September 23rd

1845: The Knickerbockers Baseball Club, the first baseball team to play under the modern rules, is founded in New York. But it’s not until 1846 that team members start grabbing their crotches in public.

1922: The Hughes-Peynado agreement is signed, ending the occupation of Dominican Republic by the United States. The Dominican Republic immediately begins occupying Washington Heights.

1988: Baseball’s José Canseco becomes the first member of the 40-40 club… That’s 40 homers and 40 injections of steroids in one season.