Monday, July 10, 2006

World Cup Champions
It took two overtimes and a shootout, but Italy finally beat France to capture the 2006 World Cup. It was the first World Cup title in 24 years for the Italians, and the first time anyone from France had worked overtime in 50 years.

World Cup Champions II
After winning the World Cup title, the Italian soccer team is headed back to Rome. There they will be cheered by the people, blessed by the Pope, and eaten by Pavarotti.

World Cup Celebrations
The entire nation of Italy came together to cheer their team during the World Cup. Now, they can go back to their true pastime: yelling and screaming at each other.

French Sadness
The French are crushed by their World Cup defeat to Italy. But they will start to feel better as soon as they can figure out how to blame it on the United States.

Top 5 Things for Europeans to Do Until the Next World Cup

5) Protest in the streets for the right to a 4-year paid vacation

4) Look for their original teeth

3) Take after the best and brightest Americans, and play soccer video games 12 hours a day

2) Take a shower... for once

1) Attack Israel and the Jews... oh wait, they do that during the World Cup too

Ann Coulter Plagiarism
Experts say Ann Coulter lifted significant portions of her last few books from other authors... which makes sense, because everything else she does she copies from the Wicked Witch of the West.

Shuttle Cleared
The space shuttle Discovery has been cleared to return to Earth. Now that President Bush's poll numbers are up a bit, the White House won't have to blow the shuttle up to help boost national unity.

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