New Judge
A new judge has been named to preside over the Saddam Hussein trial. The Iraqi government chose a legal expert who can out-argue and out-berate him at every turn: Nancy Grace.

Top 5 Hamas Presidential Campaign Slogans

5) "Suicide is Painless"

4) "A Terrorist's Work is Never Done"

3) "We Still Hate Jews More than the French!"

2) "At Least We're Better Looking than Hanan Ashrawi"

1) "A Chicken in Every Falafel, a Car Bomb in Every Garage"

New Canadian Leader
Canada's new Conservative Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, says he wants to "fix fences" with the U.S. That's nice, but the first thing he should do is fix our levees.

Execution Stay
A convicted cop-killer has been given a last-minute stay of execution by the Florida courts. Experts says his best chance to stay alive is convincing Governor Bush that he's actually a brain-damaged white woman on life support.

Disney-Pixar Deal
Now that Disney has closed its deal to buy Pixar Animation, Pixar founder Steve Jobs says the companies can operate without its previous "boundaries." By boundaries he meant Michael Eisner, and Michael Eisner's ego.

Disney-Pixar Deal II
Disney has closed a deal to buy Pixar Animation for $7.4 billion. The Pixar animators' first job will be teaching the people at Disney how to make animated movies that don't suck.