Alito Questioning
The confirmation hearing for Judge Samuel Alito began in the Senate on Monday. Of course Alito wasn't surprised by any of the Senators' questions, because the White House had all of their offices wire-tapped weeks ago.

Teddy's Book
Senator Ted Kennedy has written a children's book called "My Senator and Me: A Dogs-Eye View of Washington, DC." In the book the dog explains to kids how a bill becomes a law, how Senator Kennedy gets to work, and how they should never ride in a car with him over the 14th Street Bridge.

Saddam's Defense
Saddam Hussein's new defense strategy is to say that he was the head of state and had unlimited powers against enemies who did not have legal protection. Apparently, he's put some of President Bush's lawyers on retainer.

Phantom's Run
"The Phantom of Opera" is now the longest-running show in Broadway history. But after 17 1/2 years, you'd think the Phantom could have gotten plastic surgery by now.

Replacing DeLay
Reps. Roy Blunt of Missouri and John Boehner of Ohio are vying to replace Tom DeLay as House Majority Leader by calling all the top power brokers on Capitol Hill and asking for their support. And after they're finished with the lobbyists, they'll ask their fellow Congressmen for their votes too.

Kirstie's Method
Famed Scientologist Kirstie Alley has spawned a controversy by losing 100 pounds using Jenny Craig, and not Scientology's weight loss program. But Alley says she's saving that for the other 100 pounds she still needs to lose.