TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY I WAS REWARDED WITH A LOVELY TRANSIT STRIKE HERE IN NYC!!

BUT I DO HAVE PRESENT FOR YOU... MY NYC TRANSIT STRIKE SPECIAL EDITION!! KEEP LOGGING ON SEVERAL TIMES TODAY FOR FREQUENT UPDATES

Top 5 Good Things About the NYC Transit Strike

5) No need to wash whatever that was on the subway pole off your hands when you finally get to work.

4) With the conductors on strike, the only person still making public announcements you can't understand is President Bush

3) At least it's getting people to stop talking about the damn "war on Christmas!"

2) Suddenly, being a guy with a minivan doesn't seem so wimpy after all

1) Now you start your work day with something else other than the smell of urine!

Walk On!
Millions of New Yorkers are responding to the strike by walking or biking to work. It's a scene we'll see again next year when gas goes over $4 a gallon.

Transit Strike On
The bad news is all the city's subways and buses aren't running because of a strike. The good news is most people who had to walk actually got to work earlier than usual.

Bloomberg Walks
Mayor Bloomberg is trying to rally commuters by walking with them on their way to work. But most New Yorkers would really just rather he buy them a car.

Where's George?
New York Governor George Pataki is still refusing to join the negotiations to end the transit strike. But with the talks going around the clock, it's probably better to keep all the sleep aids out of the room.

International Reaction
Today, members of al Qaeda say they've finally found the way to achieve their goal of destroying New York's economy... they're joining the Transit Union.

Strike Fines
The city is looking to impose fines and even jail the subway and bus workers who have gone on strike. Of course, if they really want to punish the strikers, they should just make them ride the subways and buses.

Strike SNAFU
Thousands of transit workers were ready to report to the picket lines today... until they realized that without the subways and buses running, they had no way to get to them.

Strike Swath
The strike includes all bus drivers, subway conductors, subway cleaners... wait, there are subway cleaners?

And in Other News...

Cheney Defends W
Vice President Cheney said today that President Bush absolutely has the right to approve domestic wiretaps. And Cheney insisted that the President also has the right to do whatever else he tells him to.

Google-AOL Deal
Google has agreed to buy a 5% stake in AOL for $1 billion. So I guess the 95% of AOL Google didn't buy must be worth 85 cents.