Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Israel Fighting
With operations to free kidnapped soldiers in Gaza and Lebanon, Israel is now fighting a two-front war... well, it's actually three fronts if you count the BBC.

Israeli Threat
Israel's chief of staff says that if the kidnapped Israeli soldiers are not returned, "we will turn Lebanon's clock back 20 years." So I guess he knows what Lebanon looked like in 1472.

Top 5 Next Moves for Hezbollah's Leaders

5) Take over another place more screwed up than Lebanon... like Detroit

4) Try to get parts in "Syriana II"

3) See if they can get transferred to the home office in Tehran

2) Kidnap someone the media really cares about... like Lindsay Lohan

1) Duck and cover

India Markets Surge
Despite yesterday's train bombings that killed more than 150 people, India's stock market gained an impressive 3% in today's trading. Indian investors are cheering the first-ever realistic solution to the country's population problem.

American Pedophile
The bad news for former 'American Idol' contestant DJ Boyd is that he's just been indicted on child porn charges. The good news is he's also just been signed to R. Kelly's record label.

Big Dig Problems
After Monday's tunnel collapse that killed a woman, inspectors have found 60 other dangerous spots in Boston's Big Dig tunnels and bridges. But the most dangerous part about driving in Boston is still all the other drivers.


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