Google vs. iTunes
Google is close to unveiling a music downloading service to rival iTunes. It's a special system where you first go to Google and then type in a search for iTunes.



Disabled America
Under new federal rules, it turns out most Americans can now define themselves as "disabled." That includes people who have arthritis, hemmorrhoids, and watch any one of the "Real Housewives."



Mega Winners
The one winning ticket in the $319 Mega Millions jackpot was held by seven employees at the New York State Housing Authority... which means all seven of the winners plan to continue not working.



Blind Eyes
Last night, President Obama told the nation that he cannot turn a blind eye to atrocities in other countries... especially because he wants to continue to ignore atrocities in this country.



Michigan Unemployment
Michigan's Governor has signed a bill reducing unemployment benefits from 26 to 20 weeks. Of course, the new law is irrelevant since most people in Michigan have been out of work for 266 weeks.




March 29th


1799: New York passes a law aimed at gradually abolishing slavery in the state. It is now in effect for everyone except the people forced to drive on the L.I.E.

1961: The 23rd Amendment to the Constitution is ratified, allowing residents of Washington, D.C., to vote in presidential elections… if they can survive the hail of bullets before getting to the polls that is.

2004: The Republic of Ireland bans smoking in all bars. Which is why no one in Ireland has ever smoked again.