Boeing Failure
Boeing is in trouble after its new missile failed its second test in a row... the only way the missile is ever going to make it is if it enrolls in a public school in Los Angeles.



Feller Dies
Hall of Fame Cleveland Indians pitcher Bob Feller has died at age 92. He is the last living person who remembers when the Indians were actually good.



Pervy Teachers
The General Accounting Office says there's been a spike in the number of sex offenders applying for teaching jobs. Well, that's what happens when incumbents lose their jobs in Congress.



False Claims
Danon has been forced to drop claims that its Activia yogurt can fix digestive problems. In other words, Jamie Lee Curtis still can't poop.



Government Shutdown?
The U.S. government could shut down this Sunday if Congress doesn't pass a new budget. That would mean every member of Congress will have to pay the interns they're screwing with their own money.




December 16th



1773: In the Boston Tea Party, the Sons of Liberty dump crates of tea into Boston harbor as a protest against the Tea Act. They are later labeled as racists by the New York Times.


1978: Cleveland, Ohio becomes the first post-Depression era city to default on its loans. Of course in Cleveland, the depression has never ended.


1997: An episode of Pokémon, aired in Japan induces seizures in hundreds of Japanese children… those seizures recur in their parents when they see how much it costs to buy Pokemon toys for Christmas.