Graduation Poll
A new survey shows that 70% of Americans blame low college graduation rates on the students themselves. The other 30% blame the Florida State football prorgam.



Silver Lining
Finally, some good news for our economy: If your business fails, at least you'll know you won't be hacked by Wikileaks!



Unions Exempted
Most major unions are getting exempted from having to pay for Obamacare... and they're still refusing to pick up the medical bills for the people they beat up on election day.



No $250
Social Security recipients won't be getting that $250 bonus payment this year. As a result, the early bird special at Sizzler is now serving government surplus cheese.



Illegal Alien Prison Suit
Another foreign family has sued the government because their illegal alien relative died in prison. The family is also suing his cellmate for not using Vaseline.



December 9th


1425: The Catholic University of Leuven is founded. It becomes immediately much more popular than the Jewish University of Leuven.


1875: The Massachusetts Rifle Association is founded. It becomes extremely popular as its stated goal is to shoot people from Massachusetts.


1905: In France, the law separating church and state is passed… angering the three remaining religious people in France.