L.A. Sponsorships
L.A. public schools are now looking for corporate sponsors, but it's not clear if Smith & Wesson can boost its marketshare any higher than it already is for that demographic.



Pot Use Higher
New studies show that marijuana use has spiked while cigarette smoking is way down. The news has most major lawfirms working feverishly to find out if they can sue pot dealers for $500 billion.



Creepy Prof
A Columbia University professor has been arrested for having a sexual relationship with his own daughter. If he weren't such an easy grader, he might have been able to sleep with his students instead.



Pork Bill
The new spending bill in Congress is 1.924 pages long and includes $8 billion in pork projects. That includes $2 billion to help members of Congress read the 1,924-page bill.



Emanuel Ahead
Rahm Emanuel leads in the polls for the Chicago Mayoral campaign... of course, Satan is still a close second.





December 15th


1903: The Wright brothers' first attempt to launch the Wright Flyer at Kitty Hawk, NC, but they are thwarted by an very grabby TSA inspector trying to touch their junk.


1945: General Douglas MacArthur orders that Shinto be abolished as the state religion of Japan. Today's leaders would undoubtedly promote Shinto as a beautiful religion that was simply "hijacked" by a few million radical imperialists.


1970: The Illinois State Constitution is adopted at a special election held inside the state prisons where most of the legislators were serving their sentences at the time.