Friday, November 19, 2010

UC Tuition Hike
The University of California Board of Regents voted to raise tuition by 8% yesterday, but there were no student protests. That's what happens when the Regents schedule meetings before noon.

Not Bearing Fruit
5 years into a government plan to get more people to eat more fruits and veggies, the number of people eating those foods has actually gone down. It turns out people got the wrong idea when their Senators and Congressmen send them cucumbers and bananas in the mail.

GM IPO Touted
President Obama says the GM IPO proves his policies were successful... especially since that policy was to give Chinese day traders an 8% return on their money.

Benefits Killed
Congress failed to pass an extension for unemployment benefits. But Senate Democrats and the White House are promising to do their best to extend unemployment.

Berkeley Facelift
UC Berkeley’s Memorial Stadium is about to get a $321 million facelift. That’s $1 million to improve the stadium, and $320 million to pay the activists to stay away.

November 19th

1930: Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow commit their first bank robbery. If they were alive today, they would be working FOR the banks.

1985: In Geneva, President Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev meet for the first time. Reagan gets to second base.

1990: Pop group Milli Vanilli are stripped of their Grammy Award because the duo did not sing at all on the Girl You Know It's True album. The singers who DID record the song are executed.


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