Obamacare Campaign
The White House is pushing a new multi-million dollar ad campaign to defend the new health care law. The first commercial titled, "hey, everyone's gonna die anyway, is set to air next week.



Intel CEO Warning
Intel CEO Paul Otellini is blasting President Obama, saying that in this environment it's not likely the "next big thing" will even be made in America. Of course, we're not even sure President Obama was made in America.



Hogan Stuck at Home
Australia is not letting "Crocodile Dundee" actor Paul Hogan leave the country because of a tax case against him. Hogan's lawyers are expected to argue that he should be allowed to leave the country based on his lack of talent.



Mayan Mysteries
Archaeologists are finding new clues why the Maya left Mexico. So far, it looks like they were drawn away by $6/hour dishwashing jobs in El Paso.



Mehlman Comes Out
Former GOP chairman Ken Mehlman has come out as a gay man. This is only slightly less damaging to the Republicans than Barney Frank's revelation that he's NOT gay would be to the Democrats.






August 26th


1862: The Second Battle of Bull Run begins, but like most sequels it doesn’t do quite as well at the box office.

1971: The United States Congress declares August 26th as an annual Women's Equality Day. Since then, every Member of Congress has set aside this day to finish paying for the abortions for all the female interns they’ve knocked up in the past year.

1978: Sigmund Jähn becomes first German cosmonaut on board of the Soyuz 31 spacecraft. He immediately makes his mark aboard the ship by setting up a desk and a more orderly filing system.