Money Man Charged
Money manager Kenneth Starr has been charged with bilking $30 million from celebrities like Wesley Snipes, Sly Stallone and Uma Thurman... which is why I am now a major fan of Kenneth Starr.



Goldman Deal?
Goldman Sachs is reportedly working on a plea deal with the government that would force the firm to pay a $250 million fine... or whatever Goldman's top executives are going to spend on lunch this afternoon, whatever's higher.



Obama to Louisiana
President Obama heads to the Gulf coast today. His new plan to stop the BP oil spill is to fill the the well with all the White House officials he's thrown under the bus in the last two weeks.



DADT Repeal Vote
The House has voted to repeal the controversial "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy on gays in the military. If this doesn't improve the quality of musicals at U.S. army bases, nothing will.



$200 Billion for Teachers
The White House wants $200 billion to bail out teachers facing layoffs. But the plan faces tough opposition. Republicans won't vote for it unless the teachers unions make cutbacks, and kids will block the bill unless the teachers eliminate homework.





May 28th


1774: The first Continental Congress convenes... then quickly realizes there are no lobbyists to fleece or interns to screw and everyone just goes home.


1964: The Palestine Liberation Organization is formed... in protest of Israel's occupation of Palestinian lands that actually began in 1967... wait, that makes no sense! Yep.



1970: The formerly united Free University of Brussels officially splits into two separate entities, the French-speaking Université Libre de Bruxelles and the school where the coeds shave their armpits.