Monday, May 24, 2010

More Government, More Porn
A new report shows that people at the agency in charge of overseeing offshore drilling spent hours watching porn at work. Between the people at the SEC and this agency, the government is apparently helping the porn industry a lot more than it's helping GM!

Korean War Drums
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il has ordered his entire million man army to battle stations... and to get them there, he's promised them all a double portion of their daily ration of dirt.

BP Latest
The Obama admistration still has no ideas on how to fix the BP oil spill. However, Vice President Joe Biden is asking his plastic surgeon to see what he can do to stitch up the hole.

Census Problems
Census workers are complaining that the new Arizona immigration law is making it harder to do their job... mostly because they can't get to anyone's house when the streets are filled with all these angry protesters.

Euro Emergency
The Eurozone debt crisis is making it harder for European banks to borrow money. Not only do they have to pay higher interest rates, but European bankers are also being required to prove they've visited a dentist in the past six years.

May 25th

1420: Henry the Navigator is appointed governor of the Order of Christ. Beat that, Tom Tom!

1953: The first public television station in the United States officially begins broadcasting... the nation's insomnia rate simultaneously begins to plummet.

1961: President John F. Kennedy announces his goal to put a "man on the moon" before the end of the decade. Sadly, his other goal to bang a hot chick on the moon has not yet been realized.


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