Blumenthal Gets Caught
It turns out Connecticut Attorney General and Democrat U.S. Senate candidate Richard Blumenthal has been falsely claiming that he fought in the Vietnam War. This would make the Obama administration angry if there were anyone in the White House who knew what the Vietnam War was.



Tiger Gal Posing
Former Tiger Woods mistrees Rachel Uchitel will pose for Playboy... so now the five men in American who haven't had sex with her will finally see her naked.



Harvard Fraud
A 23-year-old Harvard senior has been caught forging his way into the university. He will be expelled and immediately given a job as a senior aide in Richard Blumenthal's office.



Social Security Tax Hike
A new study shows that payroll taxes for young people will have to be increased to fund Social Security. That will happen as soon as some young people actually get a job.



Salazar Admission
Interior Secretary Ken Salazar has admitted that the government did not have adequate tools in place to prevent blowouts on off-shore oil rigs. That's because it was too busy setting up the tools to collect bribes and campaign donations from the oil companies.









May 18th


1652: Rhode Island passes the first law in North America making slavery illegal. No one has worked in Rhode Island ever since.


1990: In France, a modified TGV train achieves a new rail world speed record of 320 miles per hour... which would be great for French commuters if anyone in France actually had a job.


1998: The Department of Justice and 20 U.S. states file an antitrust case against Microsoft. But the case falters when the all the computerized court files are erased by a series of bugs and viruses in Windows '98.