HUMOR BLOGGING THE WAR IN ISRAEL, Sunday July 30th

After launching its longest-range rocket ever on Friday, Hezbollah says it still has more "secret weapons" to use against Israel. But that may not be true anymore now that Mel Gibson has been arrested in California.

Israel is apologizing for the civilians who died when its air force hit a building in the town of Qana, Lebanon today. Of course, when Israel kills civilians, it's a mistake. When Hezbollah kills civilians, it's a triumph.

Israel agreed to halt air strikes on southern Lebanon for 48 hours so it can investigate the raid that killed more than 60 civilians in Qana. Hezbollah will take this time to find 60 more civilians to hide behind.

U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan is again condemning the violence and says he's "deeply dismayed" that his earlier calls for ending hostilities weren't heeded... not because he cares about the Lebanese, but because now EVERYONE knows how irrelevant he is.

AND IN OTHER NEWS...

Gibson Recovery
Mel Gibson says he's deeply ashamed by his DUI arrest and is taking "necessary steps to ensure my return to health." But that's what he said after "Lethal Weapon IV."

Gibson Apologizes
Mel Gibson has issued an apology after being arrested for drunk driving on Friday. Gibson says he really isn't blaming anyone for his alcoholism, but he does think Budweiser is a Jewish guy out to get him.

Gibson Epithets
A leaked police report says that Mel Gibson made some Anti-Semitic comments when he was arrested by police for drunk driving Friday. This story is coming as a major shock to everyone in America who was sure there were no Jewish traffic cops.

Gibson Epithets II
A leaked police report says that Mel Gibson made some Anti-Semitic comments when he was arrested by police for drunk driving Friday. Gibson's lawyers are denying that, saying he was only telling the officers that he was, "F**ked up on Manishewitz."

Gibson Epithets III
Police sources say what Mel Gibson actually said when being arrested for drunk driving was that "the f**king Jews have caused all the f**cking wars in this world." Mel be out of work in Hollywood, but he will now get an offer to be an on-air analyst at the BBC.