Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Yahoo Boots CEO
Yahoo's board has ousted Carol Bartz as CEO. Even more embarrassing is the fact that Yahoo is searching for a new chief on Google.

Chinese Billionaire
China's richest man is Liang Wengen, a maker of heavy digging equipment. His products are in major demand in China, because everyone needs to find a place to bury the industrial secrets they stole from America.

Nudity Rules
The growing number of public nudists in San Francisco are being asked to put something on the chairs they sit on for sanitation purposes... and just in case being delusionally proud of your naked body is contagious.

Airport Rules
The TSA says we might soon be able to stop taking your shoes off when we go through security at the airport... but now we will all have to take off our pants.

Jobs Speech
President Obama is set to deliver his big jobs speech tomorrow night. It's almost ready, he's just waiting for it to be translated by his outsourced speechwriters in China.

September 7th

1876: In Northfield, Minnesota, Jesse James and the James-Younger Gang attempt to rob the town's bank but are driven off by armed citizens. Of course, anyone repeating this historical fact today will be shot by the Democratic Party.

1901: The Boxer Rebellion in China officially ends with the distribution of fortune cookies.

1916: Federal employees win the right to Workers' compensation... as soon as they start working.


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