Friday, February 04, 2011

Jobs Report Disappoints
The U.S. economy added only 36,000 new jobs last month. January actually provided lots of job opportunities, but most Americans are too out of shape to shovel snow.

Egypt Latest
Tens of thousands of Egyptians are crowding into Cairo again today. They are demanding free elections, freedom of speech, and no NFL lockout for 2011.

Congress Goes After Meredith
A House committee wants market analyst Meredith Whitney to show them the facts she used to predict a muni bond collapse... not because they want to stop it, they just need some good investment advice.

Guards' Demands
Unionized prison guards in California are demanding more pay in return for not smuggling in cellphones and drugs to inmates. Wait, who are the criminals here again?

February 4th

1454: In the Thirteen Years' War, the Secret Council of the Prussian Confederation sends a formal act of disobedience to the Grand Master… that act of disobedience was reportedly a whoopee cushion filled with dog poop.

1794: The French legislature abolishes slavery throughout all territories of the French Republic… after realizing that being a free French person is really bad enough.

1969: Yasser Arafat takes over as chairman of the Palestine Liberation Organization, an elaborate front for his pedophiliac dating service.


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