Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Airport Protests
Thousands of Americans are planning to boycott and demonstrate at airports tomorrow to protest the invasive body searches. Meanwhile millions of lonely Americans are planning to protest for the right to get patted down with or without a plane ticket.

Leaf MPG
The new Nissan Leaf gets 99 miles per gallon…. and that’s a good thing because Leaf owners will need to stay 99 miles away from angry UAW members at all times.

Velma Fired
Velma Hart, the woman who personally complained to President Obama about the economy at a town hall meeting, has been fired. The White House is now offering to send her an exclusive set of Barack Obama autographed food stamps.

Childress Fired
The Minnesota Vikings have fired Head Coach Brad Childress. Brett Favre now feels free to send naked pictures of himself to Childress’ wife.

Royal Wedding Date
Prince William and Kate Middleton have set an earlier-than-expected wedding date of April 29th… mostly because they hope to start cheating on each other by June.

November 23rd

1910: Johan Alfred Ander becomes the last person in Sweden to be executed. Since then, everyone in Sweden just kills themselves.

1955: The Cocos Islands are transferred from the control of the United Kingdom to Australia… much to Australia’s chagrin when they find out the Islands are not in fact made of chocolate.

2007: MS Explorer, a cruise liner carrying 154 people, sinks in the Antarctic Ocean after hitting an iceberg. There were no fatalities, but a riot broke out when the frozen yogurt buffet was canceled.


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