Saturday, July 03, 2010

State Worker Layoffs
A new report says 400,000 state and city workers will be laid off in the coming year. What's the difference between a state worker and a laid off state worker? Laid off state workers have more time to count their pension money.

Blaming Socialism?
A top French finance minister has blamed his country's dire economic situation on socialism... so naturally, the French people are taking that to mean that the word "socialism" must now mean "the Jews."

BP-Libya Deal
A new report says that when the UK released the jailed Lockerbie bomber back to Libya, BP got several Libyan drilling contracts in return. Does that mean if we give Simon Cowell back to the UK, BP will get the Hell out of New Orleans?

Israel Gives In
In advance of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's visit with President Obama, Israel has eased its blockade of Gaza. So now the admission fee to the White House is either $100,000 in campaign donations or two dozen dead Israelis.

Traficant Barred
Recently paroled former Congressman James Traficant has been barred from running for office again in Ohio. His toupee however, is still running unopposed for the U.S. Senate.

July 6th

1785: The dollar is unanimously chosen as the monetary unit for the United States, beating out the button, the raisin and the pocket lint.

1887: David Kalakaua, monarch of the Kingdom of Hawaii, is forced at gunpoint, at the hands of the Americans, to sign the Bayonet Constitution giving Americans more power in Hawaii while stripping Hawaiian citizens of their rights. In return, we give them Magnum P.I.

1986: Davis Phinney becomes the first American cyclist to win a road stage of the Tour de France. Then, he gives the rest of the steroids back to Lance Armstrong.


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