Spending Freeze Plan
President Obama now says he wants to freeze some domestic spending to get the deficit under control. The president says everything is on the table, except for essential programs like the secret service detail for his TelePrompTer.



Ford Job Shift
Ford is moving its Explorer SUV plant from Kentucky to Chicago. It's all part of the company's plans to make the Explorer less about off-roading and more about drive-by shooting.



SD Prison Release
Hundreds of San Diego County inmates were given early release this week. It's all part of the new budget plan to save money... and to help the Chargers get tougher on defense.



Mayo Nixes Medicare
The Mayo Clinic is no longer accepting Medicare. They may be on the verge of curing cancer, but finding someone smart enough to understand all those government forms just isn't possible.



Deficit Soars
The federal deficit is expected to hit $1.5 trillion today. It's a good things all our tanks are in Iraq, or they might get repossessed.





January 26th


1500: Vicente Yáñez Pinzón becomes the first European to set foot on Brazil... he immediately starts wearing a thong.


1564: The Council of Trent issues its final distinctions between Roman Catholicism and Protestantism, deciding that Protestants are heretics for drinking martinis before 5pm.


1838: Tennessee enacts the first prohibition law in the United States in hopes of cutting down on the state's rampant incest problem. The attempt is unsuccessful.